Non-sequiturs, anti-humor, and the angry ramblings of a 20 something misanthrope.
My preferred pronouns are Wiggy, Whim-wham, and Wozzle.
The old lady receptionist at the dentist’s office told me I was a good lookin’ boy and took this picture of me on her ipad.
So, a few weeks ago I got a pet bird. It was really special.
Everywhere online I just kept reading training tips that said it would take a least a month before you’d be able to touch your bird with your hand. Mine started getting on my finger on the 3rd day.
I never even had to close it’s cage because it would just sit on the top all day. It never flew around or tried to go anywhere. If it did it would only be a few feet away, and within minutes it would go right back to the top of it’s cage.
Lately I had even got it used to flying over to perch on my shoulder and hang out with me until it felt like flying back to it’s cage.
Just a little bit ago I came home and couldn’t find him anywhere. After searching in every little corner I could think of I finally found it floating dead in the toilet.
I really need to get drunk now.
Reblogged from timothydelaghetto
“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.
A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”
powerful Black Science Man